Having a Drink

Dylan Thomas once described an alcoholic as “Someone you don’t like, but who drinks as much as you do”

Navy people perhaps have an exaggerated reputation for disparaging today’s alcohol – free parties. However the other day I was trawling through the net and discovered some very amusing trivia regarding how serious drinking was once upon a time take. I am therefore, compelled to tell you the story of the Fathers of the American Constitution Convention in 1787.

The story goes that two days before they finished their work on framing the US Constitution, the delegates adjourned to a nearby tavern for some rest. They drank 54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of Claret, 8 of whiskey, 22 of Port wine, 8 bottles of hard cider and 7 bowls of punch, which were so large that, it is said, ducks could swim in them! Then they went back to work and finished founding the Republic. Note that there were 54 bottles and 55 Founders – one delegate was slacking!

Partying in the Navy was not just about good food and Office Company – it was also about drink, which every sailor is infamously linked to. And drink mostly meant some form of liquor. But at sea, alcohol meant (and still means) a strict no-no. It was quite okay for junior officers to get tizzy once in awhile. However, as junior officers we soon realised that the problem with alcohol is that although it lowers one’s inhibitions, it could also make one sound like an absolute fool, if one had too much of it.

The very first time I got drunk, or rather the whole 54^th Course and Direct Entry Batch got drunk was on INS Brahmaputra as Midshipmen. The party was being given in honour of the Newly appointed Chief of Naval Staff, Adm Ronnie Pereira, who was visiting Cochin. The Mids were allowed to have just one can of beer each.  That day Brahmaputra was host to the top echelon of the Navy. We had Admirals Oscar Stanley Dawson, Vivian Barboza and a bunch of other senior brass, all bearing down on the Midshipmen with their tales of yore.

All through the party, the Midshipmen held their counsel. But by the time the party was over and the senior officers bid farewell, some ex-NDA guys had already pilfered a couple of bottles of gin, rum, whiskey, Martini, vermouth and whatever they could lay their hands on, by diverting the attention of the steward. Soon some very explosive cocktails of beer, gin, whiskey, rum and heaven knows what else was being passed around in beer mugs. By 4 am, the entire lot of about 55 Midshipmen had passed out in the Chest Flat and were bombed out of their senses. The hangover that came a couple of hours later was one of the worst I’ve ever had. I can count the times when I’ve been truly blotto or out of my senses, in my thirty years in the Services, but that day on Brahmaputra takes number one place.

Now-a-days I get a migraine if I drink anything more than two pegs of scotch and that too watered down into 5 glasses. In a way, I can now get drunk with just 2 pegs of whiskey or a bottle of beer, which is very economical to say the least and saves my host a lot of money when he decides to offer his good brand of drinks. By the way I recently found out that my favourite scotch blend  Black Dog gets its name form a fishing fly and not from the canine!

The other day I read an article that bartenders are using molecules from food items to make cocktails. Martinis like ‘Einstein Condensates’ are being sold in spray cans, with which you can spray mist in your mouth. The good old gin and tonic also comes with soda-bi-carb and citric acid. Wonder what Einstein would say after downing one of these? EEE= Emm Shee Shquarrre!

To end this article I would like to lend Zen’s wit, when it comes to alcohol – “Alcohol is only as good as the people you drink it with. An ordinary brew can taste like heaven, if you have it with your girlfriend. A middling brew will taste satisfactory with your wife. But even the most expensive brew will taste like vinegar, if you drink it with your Mother-in-Law